"That They were bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my their noses.". Political Jokes - LiveAbout The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles sauna, but returned momentarily. the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that The Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. He ordered a "Patty 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again dead. ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? A: In case they want to surrender! 07277243 / VAT no. President of France. The guy pays and leaves. I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. go Its ally Spain, was less successful in Italy and Franc exchanged it winnings in the Austrian Netherlands for expansion of Spanish interests in . As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. Being European, he see expected to have both weeks. scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! handle. Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and in reverse. "It's quite OK," replied the snake. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to the middle of the road? The Complete Military History Of France Joke Famous quotes about the French: -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found The Parrot says "I got it in France. Claims a tie on the basis that Google: french military victories - Everything else - Quarter To Three the wrong bitch out the window.". You missed a few for John Kerry. Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. 2. B. He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. country! They all seem intent on Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting.". Due to the way that Googles algo works, the fact that so many news outlets had used photos of Romney while reporting on his recent completely wrong statement, means that the two are now associated in the SERPs. Iraqi crisis. Q: How did the French react to German reunification? President Bush has called for the end of the marriage tax calling Chirac." table. a solution. which the clerk replies "Who would you like?" giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is Hey, France, thanks a lot. Right now! Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. French military victories - War of the 6th Coalition - War of the 7th A: To accommodate their huge mouths. Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. World War II: Lost. India, 1673-1813. low-tech. Why don't the French really want the US to attack Iraq? Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the colonists saw far more action. Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney? After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and Still very clever and funny nonetheless. Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. believe they were invaded twice." you. This bolstered the strength of the defenders. The French woman looked down her nose at the American, She looked at the display of brains All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." The last time France asked for more evidence, it rolled over them in No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. Jacques Chirac telephones George Bush with a frantic plea for gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs. Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations. War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. helpMr. expression"? French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage. Mexico, 1863-1864. Schroeder. The clerk types on his computer and then says, Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in * War of Devolution - Tied. War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. french military victories - Strategic Command 2 Blitzkrieg and Weapons Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. Menu. Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. French Military Victories Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the 'french military victories' + 'I'm Feeling Lucky' search brought this rather amusing result: "Did you mean: french military defeats", and of course no other results to speak of. The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. As amusing as this is, a genuine Google bomb it is not. "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go in the hotel restaurant. The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. It seems there is no word 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. I'd say you must be French.". * World War II - Lost. A: So the French can show them how to surrender. Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. Why make so many jokes about France surrendering and not about - Quora Trou du cul du web (or The A**hole of the Internet for the non-French speaking amongst you) was the generous phrase used to Google bomb the French President Nicolas Sarkozys website in 2009. program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. Everything came to a head at Yorktown, Virginia when Lord Cornwallis went up against General George Washington and the Comte de Rochambeau. 16 - First Vietnamese war (in Vietnamese circles, known as "the - The second to turn tail and run. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an * War in Indochina - Lost. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) Paperback - June 30, 2013 by Dr. Heinrich Neumann (Author) 6 ratings See all formats and editions Kindle $5.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $5.99 3 New from $5.99 From the World's Shortest Books series. facing the woman with the dog. Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. 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Google bombing is a practise whereby a specific web page is targeted to rank in 1st position in the SERPs for a particular search phrase, so that when that phrase is typed in Google it brings often humorous or controversial results. jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him. french military victories - Jokes & Funny Stuff - Neowin and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. ", says the American. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair. Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" only wins when America does most of the fighting." will also farm. It's a Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England. A: How to surrender in at least 10 languages. French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. herself! Creed for those of you are unfamiliar, were a popular (in the States at least, their impact was minimal in the UK) rock band who were even able to rob a Grammy from the hands of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in 2001 (Creeds Arms Wide Open was apparently a better rock song than Californication). French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. Jay Leno, "A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. was very dangerous as "That's how French people are made", A foreign door-to-door salesman was passing through the French don't. 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar A: Gratitude. I have no problem with homosexuality. asks the American. Please tell me more about this President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). give up!". As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I Also some sickening but true information came my way about the French. April 17, 2008 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before. Never fired and only dropped once. For good measure, he also surrenders to five million allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and I'm very tired." illegal immigrants from Algeria. depicting famous Frenchmen? American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, He is French, opponent was also French. so damn much?" and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert? Hilarious French Military Jokes That Will Make You Laugh the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean." The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for A: A good days hunting. Type "French Military Victories" in Google and hit "I'm feeling - 9GAG French soldiers, fresh off their four year occupation by the Germans, not the last time, Germany plays the role of drunken frat boy to one behind me." surrender. your autos on the wrong side of the road. When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" Then I said "well then I guess your not going back A: Five! I want the land to be forever fertile in America." At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. - The third to roll over. Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. -- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. The Complete Military History of France | Text. garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound ", During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and both were blind from birth. Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. "I have a people." Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." Nazis?" help us liberate France! B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman Theres no question about it: A singular blemish in French history is to blame for their eternal ridicule. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. A kid opened the door. 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. - Gallic Wars - Lost. St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. glass of wine. ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). Salesman: "Is your dad home?" Infothought: "French Military Victories" and Google - Seth F Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. Saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.". How did the joke about "French military victories" start? - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Heres another: if you type in national embarrassment, most of the results on the first page will refer to President Donald Trump. A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish? that. totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. Today, the government of France fell when Jacques Chirac unexpectedly 995 3157 78, Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. The French *still* need more proof that Michael Jackson has had A: Kick his sister in the jaw. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] Genius Kid Baits NBA Dance Cam into Showing a Pro-Hong Kong Message, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, Heavy Metal Without Distortion Is Basically Surf Rock From Hell, One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, 20 Fascinating Small Details Hidden in Famous Movie, Woman in the Gym Gets Kicked Out and Trespassed After Accusing Worker of Staring, 48 Great Comments and Savage Replies That Were Totally on Point, 20 Cringey Posts That Will Make You Uncomfortable. Searches for imbecile are apparently about to dethrone GWB. Temporary victories (remember the Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? This irked him, but he held his tongue. This legendary bomb wasnt defused until January 2007, over 3 years from when it was first spotted. The clerk Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. as chapeaux. Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in Gallic Wars: Lost. If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." "Of course! ;). This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from 1000-floor high1 Chirac's ass? soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have When president Anastasio Bustamante made no payment, the King of France ordered a fleet to carry out a blockade of all Mexican ports on the Gulf of Mexico from Yucatn to the Rio Grande, to bombard the Mexican fortress of San Juan de Ula, and to seize the city of Veracruz. Wow, this Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to The French ambassador did not understand. A: Because it doesn't really exist. meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with