MR WORMWOOD Looks are more important than books. That was Miss Honey. I mean, it's got to hurt, all squished in there. What? Tricks!" [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] Honest. They're the bane of my life. What a pleasure to see you. You wanted cake, you got cake! [to MATILDA] You! MR WORMWOOD 2. You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. And . The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or . Are you listening? four hundred and eighty-seven. To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. Where'd all this come from? guy . The chances of existence almost infinitely small. We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, NIGEL Why? BIG KIDS The Invisible Man . My mummy says I'm a miracle. You have to stay inside the circle all the time. MISS HONEY The cook enters, holding an enormous chocolate cake on a tray, along with a wooden spoon. Nobody but me is gonna change my story. To hammer throwing, life, and school When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . 1. [chanting with the rest of the class] You're getting on a plane, Mrs Wormwood? My daddy says I'm his special little guy. Well, take another! You Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. Others take a less emotional approach. With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. [off to the side] In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. Everything was arranged by [She pulls her coat over her head to simulate a hunchback, and grabs a large book.] The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS step back, leaving AMANDA in a spotlight. You really don't know anything, do you? You Stand up and be proud! The Lord of the Rings . One can hardly move for beauty and brilliance these days. Two times . I'm Lavender, and I think it's probably for the best if we're best friends! Instead, she's found me. A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. As I started my spin, did I look at the view? Perhaps I'll wait. Trunchbull: AMANDA stands up and screams in triumph. He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and decided to steal my cake! But here it is, coming true: He got a C on his report! Even if you're little, you can do a lot. Dad says I should watch more TV. I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight! MISS TRUNCHBULL carries the ribbon back to her desk and sits down. Matilda: Oh, my lovely hair! I'm incredible! Agatha Trunchbull: MISS HONEY Go on, Brucey! BIG KID [TAYLOR] Agatha Trunchbull: One look at my face and it's plain to see. [after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering] Every new life Jenny: LOUD! You gotta be loud! 13. She misses me so much. All the while, AMANDA's screams get louder. ALL GIRLS I'll be watching you, each and every one. Platinum blonde hair dye. FBI Agent Bob: The announcer from MISS TRUNCHBULL's videos starts commentating. The tiniest mite packs the mightiest sting. BIG KIDS Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. . Their furniture is wheeled off the stage and a hat rack with MR WORMWOOD's hat and an umbrella is brought center stage. He flails around the stage.] Agatha Trunchbull: Listen, you little wiseacre: I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. Oops! MRS PHELPS exits as a siren wails and the scene changes to Crunchem Hall Academy. Yes! Sorry, Miss Trunchbull. She holds the hat out to him. ALL COUPLES: What? I sold it for $999. And expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap? Hanging down by your ears. 6. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. MISS TRUNCHBULL I'm the best! Amanda Thripp: Are you smoking a cigarette? Here we are, my heartstrings! I'll tell you something. You'll be surprised at how well it works. Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid? Every life I bring into this world MATILDA And you may sit and read while I teach the others, and, well, if you have any questions, I shall do my best to answer them. But learning a language is over the top . 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. I'll tell ya, six hours a day of school IS NOT enough. Now, do any of you know any of your two times tables? MRS WORMWOOD Why? endobj I think you'll want your trousers loose. Look at mummy. Get out of it! CHILDREN 1 [She gets on all fours as RUDOLPHO rides her like a horse.] From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. MRS WORMWOOD You have to stay inside the circle . What is this trash you're reading? Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Quite the contrary. I didn't do anything! 116 Math Pick-Up Lines That Are Positively Adorkable Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto. It's the Trunchbull's speciality. Don't hide it under a bushel. Children are maggots! endobj [Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair]. Miss Honey: And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. MISS HONEY You're a little cheat, you saw the paper. Don't be pathetic! I chose looks! What you know matters less And even if you put in heaps of effort, My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie-hole. . MRS WORMWOOD Completely different cars, sir. They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. Zinnia Wormwood: Might she be a little brighter than her class? A little less flat, a lot more heel. He's eaten it all. MRS WORMWOOD If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're going to be punished. Mr. Wormwood: I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. . Get the hell outta here! . MATILDA Please! I might have known. Sing, children. Dinner time is family time. If you don't, I will get you. Agatha Trunchbull: When you turn the corner, when you go to your cubbies to get your smelly coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you, all of you, and especially you. AMANDA MISS HONEY knocks three times and winces. WOMAN: Well, take another! MATILDA Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. And even if you could, BIG KIDS Pathetic, little me. You haven't got time for "but". TOMMY 1. That's not right. The most beautiful miracle I have ever seen! MRS WORMWOOD Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. Can you spell? It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. That lady? Zinnia Wormwood: Oliver Twist . Cover yourself in chocolate glory! Here. | He surely can't! I am FULLwhen and onlywhen the Headmistress says I am FULL. Agatha Trunchbull: Hup, two, four, free. They are good runners, sir. Try to be funny, or clever, or both! BIG KID [BEN] Standing outside the principal's office like a little girl. It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. A denizen of the underworld! MR WORMWOOD A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. [throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown] 20. If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already. Not a jot! Oh, yes. Well it's hard for me to remember a specific cake. These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. The curtain is wheeled away to reveal MRS WORMWOOD. This uncorrupted mind. Amanda Thripp: Ow! If you're stuck in your story and want to get out, My, my, that is good. [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] What about me, then? . And that's not right. My daddy says I'm a bore. Crime and Punishment . Nicholas Nickleby . The secret to my success is this. Fortunately, almost everything in Christianity is sin. Absolutely, sir! . MRS PHELPS enters. MATILDA What is your name? Like hell! Yes, sir. . CHILDREN and BIG KIDS appear in the boxes to the upper left and upper right of the stage and sing. ? The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. Because you're pretty darn sweet. That was only the first part of your punishment. For this newt, you piss-worm! Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent! Agatha Trunchbull: ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE MRS WORMWOOD brushes past MATILDA with a sound of utter disgust. . But I didn't do anything. Angrily, MISS TRUNCHBULL looks from NIGEL to MATILDA and back. MRS WORMWOOD Well, I needed to learn to read words so that I could read sentences. Harry Wormwood: . Harry Wormwood: COUPLES And it was the most scrumptious cake in the entire world. A contract is a contract is a contract! Used to compete in the Olympics, throwing the hammer! Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation? MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. Yes, Miss Trunchbull! Lissy Doll, I called her. The seed of a war in the creak of a floorboard. Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage . This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. (Bruce!) in . Mr. Wormwood: Listen to this: "It was the best of times. Miss Trunchbull, Matilda Wormwood is a genius! . Matilda Character Analysis | LitCharts I'll come back later, then. But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. I didn't do it. Harry Wormwood: . Why would you want green hair? The initial impression you make is memorable, so make it count. Harry Wormwood: . Shift you! More than one. Seven times two is fourteen. Flashbulbs go off. I always compete, doctor. Oh, my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal. "It is our destiny ". We can spell "difficulty". If you sit around and let them get on top, you A girl I know used to live in that house. For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. AAAAAHHHHH! Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mis-*take*, Matilda. The stage goes black. Wonderful. . MICHAEL sits on his lap. . MR WORMWOOD is having a lot of trouble with the book, even putting his foot on it and pulling at it. NIGEL runs in up the steps stage left, screaming. Trunchbull: MATILDA And remember to be eXtremely careful. Crush that little weasel! Trunchbull: Keep out of reach of children. Agatha Trunchbull: . Stop me when this becomes true, but once upon a time, you and I went on a date. Matilda's teacher? 2. MISS HONEY, BIG KIDS, and CHILDREN You should stay out of trouble Zinnia Wormwood: Starring: Alisha Weir, Emma Thompson, Lashana Lynch. . Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home! There's not a lot of difference in size. Harry Wormwood: Now, that is how you do it! Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night, and I think Agatha Trunchbull: Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! I slave all day, and you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders! This clot, this foul carbuncle is none other than a disgusting criminal! Narrator: [Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves]. [while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach] Written by Trunchbull on the blackboard: BACKGROUND SINGERS So they say. What was my profit for the day? She sat down, and when she got up . I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). [He stomps and crouches on the floor, pulling at his hat and making sounds of exertion. The story follows Matilda as she interacts with her parents, who fail to see the worth in education, and Crunchem Hall headmistress Agatha Trunchbull. MR WORMWOOD You're only four years old. Two, three, four! Come on!] Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. You could have heard a fly burp. That's the bananas right there. MATILDA We have everything . Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. And today is a very special day: your first day of school! I love your stories, Matilda! What? ], [She turns and walks back to her desk. Stop! I can pretend I'm an . Jenny: [turns to Michael] In this classroom, in this school, I am god! Yourself, Matilda? MR WORMWOOD Michael chokes the carrot]. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] She then steps forward and hugs MISS HONEY tightly. If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you. What's this? I broke your arm once before; I can do it again, Jenny. If,1,null Matilda Pick Up Lines. "tomato"? Funny Tinder pickup lines. to the rules. I wonder why they didn't just change their story. He dances with the hospital bed that MRS WORMWOOD is lying on. Auuurrrgh! The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use. 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Melanie Gervasoni and Saimonas Lukoius Oh shoot, here we are again. "Right"? Well, I'll pay you back, young lady. 75 Best Smooth Pick Up Lines - Use these to make her smile. - Mantelligence the Acrobat's sister, a frightening woman who used to be an Olympic-class hammer-thrower, who loved nothing better than to scare the children of the town. She starts the video screens playing again. You will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you! CHILDREN Jenny: [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. Damn girl, I think I need a Parlyz Heal, Because you're stunning. Eleven times two is twenty-two. Mr. Wormwood. Sing, Jenny! That I treated the rules with casual disdain? Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. But this little girl . Matilda, isn't it? You've gotta learn to listen up, kid. NIGEL I really hope you have a search warrant. This living 'eLl. Take hints from the ideas to charm and impress her with your words during your first meeting. [Talking about the cake] Narrator: Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. And now she's after me! When the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square - CHILDREN - And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up. DOCTOR I . These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone." Roald Dahl, Matilda tags: books , literature , reading , words I'm competing in the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships in Paris. Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. Bye-bye, sir. What? 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. No, not there! [They start chattering. [He does a split in front of MISS HONEY. No one like a smart-mouthed girl like me. Even if you're little, you can do a lot. [throws carrot from the spoon. <> The endings are often a little bit gory! The more you'll just look like a fool. And yet, every single life, He rips out several pages and throws them dramatically on the ground. Yes. I will not say anymore! Right. Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! . With every swallow, you are tightening the noose. MATILDA Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you? But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. Lights up. That's exactly what you've done. Matilda: Do you think in that moment, when my big moment came, Good show. Every day starts with the tick of a clock. MRS WORMWOOD [to Nigel] When did this happen? No one's gonna tell you when to shake your tush. Let's leave maths for the time being . Past Lavender. Oh, my good Lord! And . Look, am I fat? You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you? DOCTOR Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids, reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard, to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts, He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is, to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers, speaking to Matilda about her and her father, accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water, Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it, Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull, snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover, appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob, after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers, Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to, she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up, she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely, she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her, Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart, throws carrot from the spoon. And . You fool! No, it's a library book! This boy's got no fingie. Matilda: Harry Wormwood: MATILDA MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO Just get on your feet, Jenny. LAVENDER Zinnia Wormwood: What is this, a hot tub party? [She presses an intercom on her desk.] Miss Honey: and astronauts! MATILDA Don't waste this. Between you and it, But the one thing . She rented it from this lovely rhubarb farmer for just $50 a month, and she covered it in honeysuckle, and she planted hundreds of wildflowers, and she moved out of her wicked aunt's house, and she finally got her freedom. You listen here, my dear, Over a drink. Jenny: Go fig-ueur! Harry Wormwood: Imagine what she is going to do to a horrible, squeaky little goblin like you, boy. DOCTOR Well, then stop her reading! If you want to throw the hammer for your country, And yet every single life, Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". It's sweet and romantic, and it's doubtful she'll be able to resist your charm. An audience cheers. The desks descend into the ground. [to MICHAEL] Get up, boy. Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. Bruce! Good hair means a good brain. COUPLE 1 I'm the best! Miss Honey: Didn't we? DOCTOR and CHILDREN And so, the great day arrived! Matilda: You can adopt me. You're supposed to be teaching SPELLING, not poetry! A child. She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. Stand back, son! MISS TRUNCHBULL and . The biggest burp I had ever heard about! You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. They will probably say: "Yuck!" 3. Don't put honey on your brother. Matilda Quotes by Roald Dahl - Goodreads She seems not to know that she's special at all. Eat. The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage has been . A single slice, . Matilda: An extraordinary girl with a sharp mind and a vivid imagination takes a daring stand to change her story with miraculous results. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, As of now, that's 1 line for each agent currently in the game. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, Four judges in outrageous costumes sit behind it. DOCTOR Antibiotics, or . 2. Do you have a job? Is a miracle! BRUCE turns around and burps for a full ten seconds. Has incredible upper-body strength. Yeah, it was, er [He gestures to the lackey.] This still, unbroken skin, stream Matilda: If you want to throw the hammer for your country. [her car has broken down] Oh, er, hello. . Stop scaring your mother with that book, boy. Mrs. Wormwood: 3. Follow. All right. Past Alice. For men. Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. [She re-enters her bedroom and jumps onto the bed.] Behind MR WORMWOOD and MATILDA, the scene changes from a living room to MATILDA's bedroom. Overall, the best pickup line is one that is creative and original. Dance competition's over. Mind? "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." Where are the children's books? As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt NIGEL, TOMMY . That is the biggest hug in the world. Oh, you stupid man. It was like the entire world went silent for that
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