Um please feel free to disregard teh account representative, that may have been for something else haha. female
It doesnt sound like hes ready to be a one-woman man and get married (let alone start a family), and it doesnt sound like the LW is entirely willing and able to deal with being with a man who has fathered a child that isnt theirs. There is no indication that he is committed to having a relationship with you on any level. What a laugh. As a dude, this letter brings up several thoughts.
But dont be surprised if he gets slapped with child support responsibilities b/c he couldnt be responsible enough to prevent pregnancy it takes two. So just ignore them, thats what I do. April 9, 2012, 10:12 am. Birth control isnt full-proof. Any advice on this would be appreciated as Im so confused and hurt. bittergaymark Its when I disagree that I usually feel I want to write a comment. Would be nice if they could because there were many nights when I was pregnant where my husband could have had our babies lay on his bladder instead of mine. Whoever is saying otherwise is simply wrong. If a guy *does not* want to be a father, he shouldnt be having sex with women unless he knows, for sure, they have a similar attitude when it comes unintended pregnancy. April 9, 2012, 7:03 pm, Wait, whoops, no. I have tried to encourage him to stay with this woman soley because of this pregnancy How generous of you. Some said he deserved the label because he exposed the LW to STDs. him: I would prefer if you had an abortion. Personally, I wouldnt. For whatever reason that may be. I was devastated. bittergaymark Nope, none of it matters. Any woman who, in a divorce, grants custody of the children to the father is an immature asshole, and any woman who spends her life in her career an allows the father to raise the children is an immature asshole, because, in each of those cases, the woman is just as guilty of abdicating the role of parent as the guy here would be, and in many of them, she also doesnt even provide financial support. )boyfriend who got the woman pregnant. Doesnt matter if the owner of cocacola sat down with you and discussed the possible risk of opening a bottle and what you would both do if something went wrong. But still a good thing to have. So, therefore, Im not so sure what you are finding so hard to get over about him, and why do you let him keep coming back into your life? April 9, 2012, 5:29 pm. Wrapping it up doesnt prevent pregnancy. I dont think Ive ever seen you swear on here before! A condom would have prevented this whole thing AND protected you from STDs. At this point, its an easy thing to resolve this without decades of support and animosity. And if so, Im ready. Your welcome. April 10, 2012, 10:41 am. T he mystery of Tom's sudden baby endured until several years ago when I looked him up on Facebook. Ever since U.S. Youre right, it could be unenforceable. Can you elaborate? I simply had to chime in here as this is what I do for a living and so many people are sadly misinformed. People need to think about their actions and the consequences. Chuck Pelto Everyone needs to quit having sex and then saying they hate or cant stand that person. Having a man use that as his birth control would be as idiotic as a women using dont worry, Ill just pull out as hers. Any woman who cant see the pleasure in such a sacrifice is too selfish to be in a relationship. Dream about Boyfriend Got Another Girl Pregnant indicates spiritual renewal and healing. This was even more of a scandal in a small town in the 70s than it would have been today, but she decided to keep the baby. Chopper jump on another severe cold day with the right hand exposed to activate the reserve chute. Hell, I dont even know the lady in question, and I can tell that shell be a lousy mother, too. I dont think its necessarily fair. For anyone. Therefore, when having sex with a woman, you must assume that she could get pregnant and could keep it even though you dont want it; or on the flip side, abort it even though you dont want her to. April 9, 2012, 4:44 pm. He let you go. If you loved him, you wouldn't toss the relationship. If youre a man, your time to prevent having a child is when you have sex and decide how to protect yourself. Nothing in the story suggests that the guy in question was, as you put it, indiscriminate in partner choice and/or birth control. Good times. Why do you assume everything is so laid back though? He found her annoying but still slept with herI think this was pretty assholish behavior. You add nothing to the conversation but name-calling. iseeshiny Can I just say that would bother me a lot. lets_be_honest Men should not rely on women for their own birth control unless the two people in question are in a committed relationship. Kansas City, Missouri. They are babies. 6napkinburger Obviously, NEITHER man is responsible for the child the woman wanted it, she grew it. I dont think I have ever seen so many thumbs up on one post And it deserves them! female
While We Were on a Break, He Got His Ex Pregnant. Now I'm - The Root But it is a result of a legal system that prioritizes the needs of children over fairness to the parents. Blowjobs are a practice in breath holding and gag reflex control, and my jaw ends up hurting pretty badly if I do it for long enough. IF men want to engage in condomless sex and want a choice (which women DONt have btw, we dont TELL our bodies when we want our eggs fertilized and when we dont, I WISH we could that would be such an intelligent design feature!) Just like we trust people when they say they got tested? The research on on-again/off-again couplesthose that break up and get back together multiple timesindicates that some of the most common reasons for getting back together with an ex include . Oh, and im missing the misogyny in that child support comment. Abandoning a child does. Now, again, I dont see why it is so hard to let him go, and why you cant move on. Increasingly, more and more, these letters just simply disgust me. You see being nurturing as a weakness. I could maybe understand if he was 19 and didnt know what to do. 22. . feelingroovy There are unfair aspects of the whole legal and biological reproductive system for both men AND women. April 9, 2012, 5:14 pm. He has to fit the baby into their life, not the other way around. I think hes allowed to have an opinion about the woman after all, hes about to be handcuffed to her for the next 19 years or so. Id be more concerned with him having unprotected sex with someone HE just met. Email usyour questions for Dr. Sherry now and be sure to include Ask Dr. Sherry in the subject line. The you made your choice when you had sex argument goes both ways. Yes, it would be nice if he were eager to become a parent. It takes two to make a baby. April 9, 2012, 12:45 pm. But, in reality it takes two to have sexual intercourse and two people to make a baby. I've always felt like I was put on this planet to be a mom, but when . Also, when you call people honey constantly or tell them to go read a lawbook(?) Im an okder Dude but thats what we used to do. Take this as a lesson learned. April 10, 2012, 7:01 pm. He has an obligation to any future sex partner to keep himself clean. BTW, believe it or not, I usually agree with the majority of the commenters here. I can agree with you that the decision about which medical proceedure she under goes after that point is totally hers., Is it any wonder that 40% of the kids born today are bastards?. Anyway, people are calling him scum for having unprotected sex with a woman he was dating. Youre expecting women to put the penis of some guy theyve known for two minutes in their mouth?!?!?!?! I think you handled your situation in the best way possible. Everyone is in charge of their own decisions. My boyfriend and I split up for two months. April 10, 2012, 7:21 pm. It's painful to witness when you're still in love with a person, but one of the most common reasons why a person would jump into a new relationship right after a breakup is to mask the pain of it all. Who are we talking about now? Until thats legally extended as you propose any man who doesnt exercise that option has no one to blame but himself when he becomes a parent. Its not right Im sure I wouldnt.! So sad that anyone would think its even necessary to implement such a system. April 10, 2012, 4:50 pm. Do you want a man who doesnt want to be in a childs life because it means being with you? Though some women seem to believe that is the case. Her judgment is irrelevant, but it isnt immoral. And those rapists who raped them get the money? Also I take that because your boyfriend knew she was on the pill he didnt use a condom. iseeshiny But early on, this is not an inevitable outcome, and if only one person wants the child, the other should be able to not be obligated. Basically, he is dumping you and moving on. You know, I was thinking about that, too. April 9, 2012, 10:46 am, Im not even sure how to address this letter, so I guess step by step is a good way to go. If he doesnt think hed be a good dad, he probably wont be. April 10, 2012, 5:59 pm. And do some growing up before you get involved with someone else. SweetsAndBeats I told her if its not about the kids, dont text him. Go on about it all you want though. Having the foresight to step out early doesnt make him an asshole. I think your anger is severely displaced and I think I know why if you evaluate the situation without being blinded by your inability to live without this guy, you would see that his true character is shining through and its probably not someone you really want to be with. 1. But by that same logic, you must be prepared to call a woman who doesnt want to be a mom a scumbag for getting an abortion (in the instances the guy wants to keep it but that woman doesnt). Hi guyssssss,I wanted to share a storytime video with you guys since it has a lot to do with the reason I moved to LA and a lot to do with who I am today!Sid. April 9, 2012, 3:57 pm. =), lets_be_honest Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? "My mom got pregnant from a one-night-stand at 16. And I appreciate that he made his decision and stuck with it, instead of deciding to drop in and out whenever he felt like. At least with adopted children, they usually have one or two great parents who can explain, in a way that doesnt hurt them or damage their self-worth, why they were put up for adoption. According to this, then, a woman should have the choice of forcing the child, once born, onto the father, and then only paying child support for a couple of decades. It isnt pertinent to the discussion. Turns out that the bout of food poisoning she got after their anniversary dinner and the diarrhea that came with it messed with the effectiveness of her birth control pills. This dude intends to contribute to the childs life financially, but in no other ways, which seems vastly unfair to the child. Your argument that consenting adults should never have sex unless theyre prepared to become parents neglects the fact that not only do we have the means to significantly reduce the risk of pregnancy, we have extremely safe ways of terminating pregnancies, especially very early on. My boyfriend got another girl pregnant. What should we do? Sounds like its coming out of the starting blocks with two strikes against it in the gene pool department. Yes, its shitty. Then, again you seem a tad immature so maybe you deserve each other. Hes so full of sh*t, I bet his eyes are brown. I'm very upset that my ex girlfriend got pregnant by her new boyfriend If that means not being with your boyfriend for the next 9 months to a year, then so be it (I dont think youll die without him). Change the subject and attack is not debate and makes you look pathetic. at risk of STDs. I know plenty of women who are exemplary parents. If you dont want a baby use birth control. Why, my God, you could have hit a chid running out in the street. You said it better, but I jumped back in before seeing your replies. Not exactly. Because you sound about 17. lets_be_honest You shouldnt be following so closely behind someone that if they were to suddenly slam on their brakes you wouldnt be able to stop (for a billboard, for a kid running across the street, because theyre being dicks, ect). April 9, 2012, 2:37 pm, Well, its always possible that shes NOT in her right mind. My issue is even, at the very least, if you dont want to wear a condom.then pull out!!! It may be more than a coincidence that your girlfriend or wife announced she was pregnant right after you broke up with her. Dream about boyfriend got another girl pregnant - Dreams`opedia reader, confused.i.is+, writes (25 January 2008): All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft. As for what you do: I personally would ask him to ask the woman to get a paternity test. You have to be mature and know what is best for you. Translation: men should think before they poke but women can do whatever they damn well please. It will never be equal. Look, you broke up with him because your relationship had some problems, and because of trust issues, and his inability to commit to you. Terrance Dean. Three babies? No interest in fatherhood? He can bang the neighbor, the lunch lady, and his friendly neighborhood bartenderwhoever. 2. Mostly for the kid though, I think. I think it is unfair that the man cant have sex without the possibility of becoming a parent, but the woman can. This is always the risk and Id wager 2% of people or less would actually take the time to ask anything about a potential pregancy before the stick gets dipped, My personal philosophy due to the current legal malarky is I need to know their standing on what happens if contraceptives fail and, if they would keep the child, is the person somebody I could see myself staying withboth of those things usually require me to know someone longer than 2 mins., Not JUST due to the legal malarky..I was too focused on getting that word in. But again the adoption makes that all moot. April 9, 2012, 9:56 pm. We do know that the guy in question didnt use a condom (as you yourself pinted out elsewhere, LW would have def. Steve Kellmeyer So, if you insist that men create children, or even assist in such a thing, you are some kind of slimy pro-lifer meddling in the affairs of independent women who need men like a fish needs a bicycle. Iwannatalktosampson I dont believe in forcing people to become parents either. It will have feelings too. I dont think the LW can handle a relationship where another woman has her mans child. Sue Jones And honestly, if my boyfriend told me he wants nothing to do with his own child. Nice try. April 10, 2012, 12:45 pm. Commenters on most websites just depress me I dont bother reading them anymore. Ive been silent on this website a while, and by and large tend to agree with most of what is said, but I could not sit quiet as people suggested to a) force this man into parenthood, and b) suggest that this woman is incapable of being a single mother. Im not advocating for it, just describing whats been proposed elsewhere. Neither are the kids, but thats beside the point where feminism is concerned, right? Itll take work and patience, but he CAN be a father to the baby, and a partner to you.. April 9, 2012, 5:24 pm, The mention of being logical for some reason made me think of the whole idea of true abandonment.